LSD Trip Report: A Journey of Self-Realization


Table of Contents


  • Introduction
  • Background and Context
  • The Experience: First Signs of the Trip
    • Initial Effects
    • Social Anxiety and Overstimulation
  • Introspection and Identity Crisis
  • The Aftermath: Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
  • Conclusion


Introduction


This report details a personal experience with LSD (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide) during a significant life transition. The author, a young adult moving to university, shares a detailed account of their first psychedelic trip. The journey, marked by intense self-reflection and uncomfortable social encounters, eventually leads to newfound clarity and a shift in priorities.


Background and Context


  • Date: September 2019
  • Age: 18
  • Sex: Male
  • Height: 170 cm (5'7")
  • Weight: 70 kg (154 lbs)
  • Miscellaneous:
    • No prior experience with psychedelic substances
    • Concurrent use of alcohol
    • Pre-existing conditions: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and mild epilepsy


The setting for this trip was the author's moving-in day at university, a stressful and emotionally charged moment. In a bid to escape feelings of dissatisfaction and seek a change, the decision was made to take LSD without fully considering the consequences.


The Experience: First Signs of the Trip


Initial Effects


The author consumed two tabs of LSD, the first at noon and the second about 15 minutes later. After about 45 minutes, the effects began to manifest. The initial signs were physical and emotional, marked by an impossibly wide smile and profuse sweating.


"I realized I was smiling impossibly widely for the day and sweating bullets," the author recalls.


Social Anxiety and Overstimulation


The author joined a large, loud group of people soon after the onset of the trip. However, the social environment quickly became overwhelming. The combination of bright, loud colors and intense sensory stimulation made it difficult to process what was happening.


"I began to feel my teeth jumping and nerve endings firing. I didn't understand what was going on."


At this stage, the trees and surroundings took on a life of their own, with vivid iridescent colors trailing behind them. While these visual effects were fascinating, they further isolated the author from the group, who they no longer felt connected to. Communication became difficult, and an overwhelming sense of disconnection from those around them set in.


The social situation soon escalated into a drinking game, a high-pressure environment that only amplified the author's discomfort. "I could feel this heavy, heavy social tension which I could feel literally pulling me down." The faces of those around them seemed expressionless and alien, creating a growing sense of fear and paranoia.


Unable to cope with the intense anxiety, the author eventually fled the situation, feeling panicked and fearful. They described "literally gibbering in fear" as they ran from a party they briefly attended.


Introspection and Identity Crisis


After retreating from the social chaos, the author found themselves alone in their room. Here, the trip took on a more introspective tone. What began as a search for change became an overwhelming confrontation with their own identity and personal values.


"I began to introspect about my own self," they note, as feelings of emptiness and alienation crept in. During this phase of the trip, the author realized they had become everything they disliked about their own culture: loud, obsessed with alcohol, and overly focused on superficial appearances.


"I felt nearly totally empty—that my entire identity consisted of total animal instinct and slavish desire to impress—no longer human."


This revelation was both painful and transformative. The author described staring at their own reflection in the mirror, questioning what they truly wanted out of life and whether their humanity was even salvageable.


The Aftermath: Self-Reflection and Personal Growth


Following this intense self-examination, the author emerged with a clearer sense of direction and identity. The trip led to a renewed focus on personal interests and passions that had been neglected, including anime, work, and swimming.


The experience also brought a new perspective on how much the opinions of others should influence one's life. What others judged or valued seemed far less important in the wake of the trip.


"What other people judge doesn't matter as much to me anymore," the author reflected.


Conclusion


This LSD trip, though challenging and at times terrifying, ultimately became a turning point in the author's life. What began as a desire for change through the use of psychedelics evolved into a deeper understanding of their own values, identity, and purpose. While the experience underscored the risks of taking LSD in uncertain or stressful situations, it also led to significant personal growth and a renewed sense of self.


For anyone considering the use of LSD or similar substances, this trip report serves as a reminder that while psychedelics can offer powerful insights, they can also force individuals to confront uncomfortable truths about themselves. The importance of setting, mental preparation, and understanding the potential risks cannot be overstated.