Ayahuasca Experience Report: A College Student's First Encounter

Table of Contents

  1. Introduction
  2. Background Information
    • Cannabis Use and Mental Health
    • Interest in Psychedelics
  3. The Setting and Preparation
    • The Location and Environment
    • The Ayahuasca Milkshake
  4. The Effects of the Brew
    • Initial Reactions
    • Loss of Motor Control and Visual Disturbances
    • Introspective Insights and Anxiety
  5. The Aftermath
    • Physical Recovery
    • Emotional and Psychological Effects
  6. Reflections and Lessons Learned

1. Introduction

This report details a first-time experience with Ayahuasca, which occurred on a college campus. The brew was taken by a 19-year-old male who weighed 52kg (115 lbs) and had a history of cannabis use and mental health issues. This account will explore the circumstances surrounding the event, the physical and psychological effects, and the aftermath of the experience.

2. Background Information

Cannabis Use and Mental Health

Before the Ayahuasca experience, the subject had been smoking cannabis for about three to four months. His cannabis use was somewhat excessive, causing minor problems in his life. The situation escalated when his dorm room was searched by the police, leading to trouble with both the law and the school.

The subject had been diagnosed with ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. While cannabis helped with anxiety, the legal troubles and the pressure from drug tests complicated matters, ultimately leading to a break from cannabis use.

Interest in Psychedelics

The subject had always been curious about psychedelics. Prior to this experience, he had tried 25B once, LSD twice, and mushrooms once. These experiences gave him some familiarity with altered states of consciousness, which contributed to his decision to try Ayahuasca.

3. The Setting and Preparation

The Location and Environment

The experience took place in a public area of the college campus, near a set of tables commonly frequented by drug users. These tables were located in an open space, offering some distance from buildings, making them a popular spot for smoking and socializing.

The subject had planned the experience during a few free days and felt he had done enough research to be prepared. Despite the setting, the presence of other people and the environmental factors contributed to a less-than-ideal "set and setting."

The Ayahuasca Milkshake

To prepare the Ayahuasca brew, the subject and his friend (referred to as "B") ate Syrian Rue seeds and then drank a milkshake made from the brew about 15 to 25 minutes later. The taste and smell of the milkshake were described as "horrendous" and difficult to consume. The subject noted that the experience might have been easier if more bananas had been added to mask the taste.

After consuming the brew, the two friends sat and waited. A crowd began to gather, as it was common for people to linger around when others were engaging in drug use.

4. The Effects of the Brew

Initial Reactions

The subject began feeling light-headed and extremely nauseous shortly after ingesting the brew. His vision became impaired with decreased acuity and a hazy effect, making it difficult to process what was happening around him. His thoughts slowed down, and he felt only partially conscious.

Despite these growing effects, he tried to maintain composure and asked some people nearby what they were doing. This action triggered a sudden wave of darkness, which may have been a disconnection from consciousness.

Loss of Motor Control and Visual Disturbances

The next part of the experience involved a noticeable loss of motor control. The subject felt as though he had blinked and relaxed his muscles, which caused him to lose control of his body temporarily. His friends observed this and believed he had a seizure. However, someone with medical knowledge disagreed, suggesting that it was not a seizure but rather a rapid onset of the brew’s effects.

Feeling the need to lie down, the subject was helped to a friend's dorm room. On the way there, he experienced kaleidoscoping black triangles around the edges of his vision, but his central vision remained intact. The experience felt dreamlike, and he had no clear thoughts or sense of time.

Introspective Insights and Anxiety

Once in the room, the subject felt disconnected and had a moment of confusion, including thinking he had soiled himself. However, after visiting the bathroom, it was confirmed that he had not experienced any physical accidents. Although the subject was still feeling light-headed and nauseous, he was able to walk again, but the emotional effects continued.

Once back in his own room, the subject began to experience what he interpreted as a sensation of "slipping into non-existence." This sensation felt almost physical, and the shadows from the blinds seemed to stretch endlessly. His thought patterns were spiraling, and he began to gain introspective insights. Though a vague presence was felt, there was no clear communication or understanding of its nature.

5. The Aftermath

Physical Recovery

The subject’s friend, who had allowed him to rest in his dorm room, later called to inform him that B had called 911 due to his own distress. The subject’s anxiety was triggered by this news, and he quickly rushed to dispose of the remaining brew ingredients in a trash chute to avoid any further issues.

Despite his anxious state, the subject noted that his thoughts had shifted from slowing down to rapidly accelerating. He hurried to find B’s roommate and suggest they relocate any cannabis supplies. Along the way, he began to hear a quiet screeching or humming noise, which he described as "white noise made of screams."

Emotional and Psychological Effects

After returning to his room, the subject was left alone to reflect on the experience. He continued to feel nauseous but could not vomit. As the effects began to subside, the subject became deeply contemplative about the nature of reality. He felt as though he had glimpsed another reality, one that was so alien that it left him scared to close his eyes, worried that he might return to this alternate realm.

He began to question his own mortality and the inevitable nature of death. This sense of existential anxiety lingered long after the physical effects had worn off, though it was mostly diminished by three months later.

6. Reflections and Lessons Learned

While the experience left the subject shaken and with a newfound fear of death, it also brought about significant personal growth. He became more introspective, motivated to improve in various areas of his life, and more empathetic toward others. The experience shifted his perspective, making him more understanding and capable of seeing things from others' viewpoints.

However, despite these positive changes, the subject has struggled to come to terms with the fear of death and occasional dissociative feelings. He expressed an interest in trying the experience again in a better "set and setting," hopeful that with better preparation, the experience could be more meaningful and less terrifying.

In conclusion, this Ayahuasca experience had a profound impact on the subject’s mental and emotional state, but it also left him with many unanswered questions and lingering fears that he continues to explore.