A Psychedelic Journey: From Paranoia to Enlightenment

Introduction
The Paranoia and Exhaustion After Seizure
2.1 The Initial Scene: Feelings of Awkwardness
2.2 The Deepening Paranoia
2.3 Fear and Overwhelming Emotions
2.4 Morning After: Emotional Breakdown and Anxiety
My Experiences with NBOMe
3.1 Lack of Enlightenment, Confusion, and Disjointed Thoughts
3.2 Visuals: Astonishing but Overwhelming
3.3 Creepy Drawings: The Lingering Effect
3.4 Physical Discomfort and Disturbing Sensations
Reflections on a Mushroom Trip After NBOMe
4.1 Lingering Euphoria Post-NBOMe
4.2 A Shroom Journey in the Snow
4.3 Questions of Cross-Tolerance
Conclusion

1. Introduction

Psychedelics can evoke a wide range of experiences—some euphoric, others confusing or downright unsettling. Through my personal journey with NBOMe and psilocybin, I’ve encountered the extreme highs and deeply uncomfortable lows. Here, I reflect on some of my most intense experiences, delving into moments of paranoia, disturbing sensations, and moments of enlightenment. This narrative highlights the complexity of my encounters with these substances, emphasizing both the mesmerizing visuals and the emotional turmoil they can evoke.

2. The Paranoia and Exhaustion After Seizure

2.1 The Initial Scene: Feelings of Awkwardness

It all began when I sat on the arm of my friend’s chair, feeling incredibly awkward and drained from the aftermath of a seizure. The euphoric, pleasant sensations I had experienced earlier were entirely gone, replaced by a creeping sense of paranoia. I was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and struggled to regain my composure as I tried to blend into the social environment around me.

2.2 The Deepening Paranoia

As people began to leave, I found myself particularly fixated on one individual—a guy who had been loudly blabbing throughout the night. His presence unnerved me, and as the evening wore on, my paranoia intensified. I became consumed by the delusion that if I moved from where I sat, this person would somehow harm my friend. Frozen in fear, I remained glued to the spot, my mind racing with irrational thoughts.

2.3 Fear and Overwhelming Emotions

Eventually, my friend (whose house we were at) and I headed upstairs. He was trying to sleep, but I was too terrified to leave his house. I couldn’t shake the thought that something bad would happen if I left, and I remained on edge, riddled with anxiety. It wasn’t until the guy had finally left that I began to calm down slightly, though my nerves were still frayed.

2.4 Morning After: Emotional Breakdown and Anxiety

When morning came, I broke down emotionally. I cried intensely, overwhelmed by everything that had happened and other personal conflicts that had bubbled to the surface—my relationship with my boyfriend, in particular. The emotional weight of it all left me feeling raw, vulnerable, and unable to sleep. Eventually, I summoned the courage to leave my friend’s house and return to my dorm, though the entire walk back was filled with a persistent sense of paranoia. I kept looking over my shoulder, fearing something or someone was following me.

3. My Experiences with NBOMe

3.1 Lack of Enlightenment, Confusion, and Disjointed Thoughts

My encounters with NBOMe substances—primarily 25I and 25C—have consistently left me feeling more confused than enlightened. Unlike more traditional psychedelics like LSD or psilocybin, where users often report a sense of spiritual awakening or profound insights, my thoughts on NBOMe felt scattered and disjointed. I’d jump from one idea to the next without being able to articulate or even remember the thoughts I had. In fact, my best friend and I used to joke that 25C was the "woop" drug—the sound of a thought welling up only to disappear before it could be captured.

3.2 Visuals: Astonishing but Overwhelming

Despite the mental fog, the visuals I experienced on NBOMe were nothing short of breathtaking. They were incredibly immersive, even more so than the ones I had experienced on LSD or psilocybin. The world around me would shift and morph in vibrant, mesmerizing patterns, but the intensity of the visuals often felt overwhelming. It was as if I was lost in a visual world that was far more powerful than anything my mind could make sense of.

3.3 Creepy Drawings: The Lingering Effect

During one trip on 25C, I tried to capture these visuals through drawing, attempting to recreate the patterns that seemed to float directly in front of my eyes. Unlike the ebb and flow of visuals on more traditional psychedelics, the patterns on NBOMe felt static and almost imposed on my vision. The resulting drawings were disturbingly creepy and unsettling to me once I was sober. There was something deeply disconcerting about the images I had created, and they left a lasting impression on my psyche.

3.4 Physical Discomfort and Disturbing Sensations

Another troubling aspect of NBOMe trips was the physical discomfort I often experienced. There were moments when I felt utterly disgusted by my own body, with a particularly unsettling sensation of hair coming out of my mouth. At one point, I even felt a strange split between my teeth that I could feel with my tongue—a sensation that was deeply disturbing and left me feeling extremely gross. These physical experiences contributed to the overall negative tone of many of my NBOMe trips.

4. Reflections on a Mushroom Trip After NBOMe

4.1 Lingering Euphoria Post-NBOMe

Interestingly, the day after one of my NBOMe experiences, I felt a lingering sense of euphoria. It was almost as though the horror of the previous trip had given way to a profound appreciation for being alive. This sense of relief and happiness carried over into the following day, where I went on a mushroom trip that turned out to be one of the most enjoyable psychedelic experiences I’ve ever had.

4.2 A Shroom Journey in the Snow

I took an eighth of mushrooms and ventured out into the freezing snow with two friends. We spent six hours trudging through the snow, at times getting numb and struggling to walk, but the entire experience was infused with a sense of elation. I felt incredibly happy and in control, a stark contrast to the disjointed and confusing effects of NBOMe. The mushroom trip was a deeply positive experience, marked by a sense of unity with my surroundings, even as the snow numbed our bodies.

4.3 Questions of Cross-Tolerance

One curiosity from that mushroom trip was whether there had been some cross-tolerance between the 25C-NBOMe and psilocybin. I felt that my experience was slightly less intense than usual, though one of my friends suggested that I might still have been tripping harder than I realized. Since the mushrooms were consumed as a tea, I also wondered if this method of ingestion had somehow diluted the effects. Regardless, it was a powerful and memorable experience, enhanced by the lingering euphoria from the previous day’s NBOMe trip.

5. Conclusion

My experiences with NBOMe have been complex and often negative, filled with paranoia, disturbing physical sensations, and a sense of mental disarray. While the visuals were astonishing, they often left me feeling confused and detached from any sense of enlightenment. In contrast, my experiences with psilocybin, particularly during my snowy mushroom trip, were much more positive and fulfilling. These contrasting experiences highlight the unpredictable and varied nature of psychedelic substances and their profound impact on both the mind and body.