A Journey Through Mushrooms: A Detailed Trip Report
Table of Contents
- Introduction
- Dosing and Preparation
- Onset of Effects
- Coming Up: The Gradual Intensification
- The Peak: A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Visuals
- The Resolution: Surrender and Personal Reflection
- Conclusion
Introduction
On December 2, 2019, I embarked on a psychedelic journey using psilocybin mushrooms. At the time, I was 20 years old, weighed 56.7 kg (125 lbs), and stood at 180 cm (5'11"). This trip marked my second experience with mushrooms, after a first attempt with a low dose (1 gram) that had minimal effects. For this session, I had acquired 2.5 grams of mushrooms but decided to start small and test the strain. Though I had hoped for a mild trip, the experience proved to be more intense than I anticipated. Here's a detailed recount of my experience, from dosing to the profound introspection that followed.
Dosing and Preparation
At 10 PM, I broke off a small piece of the mushroom, estimating the dose to be around 0.5 grams. I didn't have a scale, so I relied on visual judgment. I consumed the piece by chewing it thoroughly before swallowing it on a mostly empty stomach, as I had eaten only some mac and cheese about an hour earlier (though I wondered if that could affect digestion or metabolism).
Despite the small dose, I had already prepared myself mentally for the trip and reminded myself that this was only a test. My goal was not to have a profound experience but to gauge how this batch affected me.
Onset of Effects (10:20 - 10:45 PM)
Within 15 to 20 minutes, I began to notice subtle changes in my perception. While it was difficult to pinpoint the exact moment the trip began, I started to feel "different." Derealization set in as I looked at myself in the mirror, and a mild sense of mental fog started to cloud my thoughts. A wave of giddiness followed, and I could feel a gentle euphoria starting to arise. At this point, I was still relatively clear-headed, but something was definitely shifting in my awareness.
The onset was relatively smooth, and I didn’t experience any major discomfort or anxiety. The mental effects were starting to become noticeable, but it was still within a manageable range.
Coming Up: The Gradual Intensification (10:45 - 11:30 PM)
By 10:45 PM, the effects began to intensify. Mental fog deepened, and I felt mildly sedated, but the euphoria remained. Cognitive euphoria became more pronounced than the physical feelings of bliss. My thoughts became disjointed, and sometimes I would have a "flight of ideas," where one thought would lead into another at an increasingly rapid pace.
Visually, I began noticing mild distortions. Patterns seemed to enhance, and my visual acuity sharpened. I also had a sense of altered perspective, where things seemed to shift in ways that were not immediately obvious. I could sense a faint greenish tint to my vision, which added to the surreal feeling.
I was on the phone with a friend during this period, and the experience became more humorous as I laughed at almost anything he said. Despite the growing intensity of the experience, I still felt clear-headed and in control, assuming that the peak would soon arrive. However, I decided to enhance the experience by smoking 0.13 grams of cannabis, taking three small hits over the course of 10 minutes. This intensified the effects significantly, amplifying the mental fog, visual distortions, and euphoria.
The Peak: A Rollercoaster of Emotions and Visuals (~12:00 AM)
At midnight, I thought the trip was starting to wind down, so I decided to watch a cartoon to pass the time. However, what seemed like a casual decision quickly turned into a profound experience. As soon as the cartoon began, everything appeared to have a strange depth. It felt as if I was wearing 3D glasses, with characters seeming very close to me, while the background stretched far away. I was amused by this, but the experience quickly took a darker turn.
I began to feel unexpectedly emotional. The cartoon, which was supposed to be lighthearted, suddenly triggered negative emotions in me. I paused it, stood up, and felt an intense coldness despite the room being a comfortable 67°F. As I shivered, a sense of apprehension set in, and time seemed to slow down significantly. My thoughts became muddled, and I felt completely out of control.
I noticed visual distortions becoming more pronounced. My vision blurred, and objects in the room seemed to morph and shift slowly, almost as if they were breathing. The door appeared to stretch farther away, and the blinds displayed colorful geometric shapes—red, blue, green, and yellow—gliding in a smooth, slow motion. The shapes overlapped, merging into diamonds and circles. The entire room seemed to change size as if I were getting smaller.
At this point, I became overwhelmed with anxiety and thought, "I am having a bad trip!" I began to sweat and shake, and it was clear I was no longer in control. The experience felt as though it was spiraling out of my grasp.
The Resolution: Surrender and Personal Reflection
In the midst of the intense anxiety, I remembered a key point from my trip preparation: my intention to "feel connected with myself, learn more about myself, improve." This thought helped calm my anxiety somewhat, and I took a deep breath. I said aloud, "Can I just surrender right now? Can I just let go? I need to just flow downstream." The shaking subsided, and I found myself asking, "Why am I afraid? Why do I fear what I don't expect?" These words seemed to provide some relief.
Suddenly, a calm, reassuring voice entered my mind. It was different from my own thoughts—almost as if it were external—and it said, "Write this down." This voice was incredibly comforting and felt organic, like it was guiding me through the moment. I grabbed my sketchbook and a pencil and began writing down everything the voice said, word for word. The voice would speak in clear sentences and then fall silent until I had finished writing.
This process continued for about 20 minutes, although it felt much longer. During this time, I felt a deep sense of release. My anxiety faded completely, and I felt as though a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My breathing became slower, my heart rate steadied, and I found myself in a place of calm stillness. For about an hour, I sat on the couch, quietly observing my surroundings and reflecting on the experience. My thoughts were no longer ordinary; I was entirely present in the moment, lost in contemplation.
Conclusion
This trip turned out to be far more intense and profound than I had anticipated. Although I had started with a small dose of 0.5 grams, the effects quickly escalated, leading to powerful visual distortions, intense emotions, and profound introspection. The experience was both challenging and enlightening, allowing me to confront my fears and anxiety while also gaining a sense of personal clarity.
Ultimately, I learned the importance of surrendering control and trusting the process. Through this journey, I was able to connect with my inner self and gain insight into areas that I had been avoiding. The trip lasted several hours, but in the end, I felt much more grounded and at peace with myself. It was an experience I will never forget, and one that reinforced the value of introspection, acceptance, and the power of surrender.