A Journey Through Ego Death and Dreamlike Visions: A Psychedelic Experience

Table of Contents

  • Introduction
  • Moving to the Bed: Dreamlike Visions and Ego Death
    • Ego Death and Relaxation
    • Shifting Between Reality and Visions
  • Synaesthetic Sensations: The Fruit Experience
    • Music and Sensitivity
    • A Comparison Between Fruit and Ice Cream
  • Partner’s Experience: Comfort and Reassurance
  • Encountering Dark Thoughts
    • Processing Trauma
    • Returning to Positive Feelings
  • The Offset: Visual Stimulation and Immersion
    • Watching Screensavers: Immersion Enhancement
    • Prolonging the Experience
  • Coming Down and Settling
    • Drifting into Sleep
  • Conclusion: A Reflective Psychedelic Journey

Introduction

The experience began with the familiar intensity that psychedelics can bring, with waves of euphoria giving way to an array of hallucinations and shifting mental states. As the peak of the experience subsided, the transition towards relaxation set the stage for a more introspective and dreamlike phase. What followed was a journey through visions, subtle ego death, sensory exploration, and moments of reflection. Here, the experience is recounted in detail, describing the physical, emotional, and mental shifts that took place throughout the trip.

Moving to the Bed: Dreamlike Visions and Ego Death

Ego Death and Relaxation

After the initial peak, when the orgasmic sensations relaxed, the shift to the bed introduced a new phase in the journey. Dreams and visions, described as internal hallucinations, began to dominate the experience. These visions were more focused on scenery and abstract settings than concrete scenarios or plots, leading to a dissolution of self, commonly known as ego death.

The feeling of ego death was a comforting one. There was a sense of "being the scenery" rather than an active participant in it, and this merging with the environment was welcomed. It allowed for a detachment from the usual boundaries of the self, providing a feeling of oneness and calm.

Shifting Between Reality and Visions

Despite the deep immersion in these dreamlike states, returning to reality was surprisingly easy when needed. For example, getting up to use the bathroom required only a brief shift back to the real world. Once back in bed, the transition to the visionary state was smooth, allowing for a seamless flow between reality and hallucination. Letting go of the physical world and returning to the colorful internal landscapes was effortless.

Synaesthetic Sensations: The Fruit Experience

Music and Sensitivity

Between moments of visionary immersion, there were a few breaks, including a memorable one involving the sensory joy of eating fruit. The fruit’s taste was described as "incredible," and its consumption sparked some synaesthetic experiences — the act of biting into it caused colors to reappear behind closed eyes. This sensory connection, though subtle, would likely have been even more pronounced had it occurred earlier in the peak.

Music, another source of sensory delight, was unfortunately short-lived. Although it initially felt great, it had to be turned off as the noise irritated the partner. This left the question of whether a background of music could have enhanced the experience differently if introduced earlier.

A Comparison Between Fruit and Ice Cream

Following the fruit, ice cream was also tried, but it proved to be less satisfying. The rich sweetness of refined sugar seemed overpowering compared to the fresh, local summer fruit, which felt more naturally pleasurable and aligned with the experience. The seasonality and freshness of the fruit contributed to its unique appeal, standing in contrast to the more artificial sweetness of the ice cream.

Partner’s Experience: Comfort and Reassurance

At some points during the experience, the partner felt a bit awkward or uncomfortable. Gentle guidance and encouragement helped her navigate through these moments, reminding her to steer her thoughts towards positive feelings and relaxation. Cuddling in bed offered further comfort, easing any lingering worries. There was a brief fear of being "clingy," but these concerns were quickly soothed with reassurance.

Encountering Dark Thoughts

Processing Trauma

Towards the end of the peak, a darker turn in the visions occurred. Some past trauma resurfaced, bringing with it unsettling thoughts and dreams. These moments of emotional darkness were challenging but manageable. There was a clear awareness of why these thoughts were emerging, allowing them to be processed and understood.

Returning to Positive Feelings

After confronting these dark feelings, it was possible to shift back to more pleasant sensations. The darkness seemed to act as a toll of sorts, a price paid for the many positive experiences that had come before. While unsettling, it was temporary, and the return to more enjoyable feelings was achieved through conscious effort and awareness.

The Offset: Visual Stimulation and Immersion

Watching Screensavers: Immersion Enhancement

As the experience began to wind down and the dreams and colorful visions ceased, the idea of prolonging the psychedelic effects arose. Seeking visual stimulation, a decision was made to go upstairs and watch the Chromecast screensaver. Despite the fading of the trip, the immersion remained enhanced, particularly in terms of suggestibility. Watching photos and videos deepened the sense of immersion, and there was an increased empathy felt towards the people in the images.

This heightened immersion was one of the most pronounced aspects of the post-peak phase, lasting for a good hour or so after the peak had fully subsided. The visual stimulation provided a final extension of the experience, allowing for some extra enjoyment.

Prolonging the Experience

At this stage, the partner remained in bed with permission, later joining in watching the screensaver. Together, they observed the pattern recognition that was still heightened — seeing faces and animals within the abstract landscapes on the screen. This gentle drifting continued as the trip gradually faded.

Coming Down and Settling

Drifting into Sleep

As the experience came to an end, the come down was gentle and smooth. Gradually, the psychedelic effects settled, leading to a state of wakefulness that lingered. Falling asleep took some time, with sleep finally arriving around 2 AM. Despite the challenge in drifting off, the overall experience was marked by peace and relaxation.

Conclusion: A Reflective Psychedelic Journey

All in all, the experience lasted about 5-6 hours, with the peak lasting 2-3 hours. It was described as the most pleasurable psychedelic trip experienced to date, marked by a balance of intense visuals, ego death, emotional exploration, and deep sensory enjoyment. The final stages, though accompanied by some difficulty in falling asleep, were gentle, leaving behind a profound sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. This psychedelic journey, from the peak to the offset, was a highly introspective and transformative experience, punctuated by both intense pleasure and moments of emotional challenge.